Things not to say to women doctors - Medical Womens Federation

Things not to say to women doctors and things to say - for patients and the public

Women doctors have the knowledge, skills and experience to do the job. They should be treated like professionals. Do not say the first thing that comes into your head. Say what is needed to get the doctor’s opinion or advice. Please treat each person with respect. Avoid personal remarks and focus on your health. Different places need different ways of speaking. You would not make jokes at airport security that would cause a security alert.

Click here to download the below table as a PDF

Patients/relatives Don’t say:

Patients/relatives Do say:

When is the doctor coming?
You are too pretty/young to be a doctor
I thought you were the nurse
You’re a lot prettier than my normal doctor!
How can you operate if you are pregnant?
I was expecting a man
I’m happy to help with your training
Are you the junior doctor?
Where are you from?
Are you married [or any similar personal question]?
Anything sexual, so don’t say:

- You have a nice bottom

- You can examine me anytime, ha ha!

Can you explain the test results?
Are you the Consultant? [or Specialist, or GP]
What are the Benefits, Risks and Alternatives of this and what happens if I do Nothing? [These are the “BRAN” questions]
What might go wrong? And how likely is this?
What is keeping me in hospital?
How much will it help if I improve general things – like exercise, sleep and nutrition?
Do you have an information leaflet about this?
Can I think things through?
Can I have another appointment to make a proper decision?
What would you recommend?

Please also: don’t stare, don’t touch

Things not to say to women doctors and things to say - for other staff and supervisors

How we interact with co-workers creates the culture within the NHS.

Click here to download the below table as a PDF

Other staff Don’t say:	Other staff Do say:
Are you the junior doctor? Can you come back from the operating theatre and write the discharge medications? I was expecting a man.	Are you the Consultant? I’m worried about this patient. Using SBAR… (Situation, Background, Assessment, Result) Thank you for clarifying the plan [To patients or relatives after an unacceptable comment] You are not allowed to say things like that. The doctor is doing her work.

Supervisors Don’t say:

Supervisors Do say:

You shouldn’t do that specialty because you will want to have a family.
You won’t want to come to theatre because you are a woman
You aren’t strong enough to do… specialty.
Choose a specialty you can do part time

Would you like to scrub in for this case?
When I met this patient in clinic, they weren’t sure about… so we agreed based on…
You should come to clinic – it is important to understand Shared Decision Making.
I am sorry the training is so tough. Being a Consultant, GP or SAS doctor is a great job. Please let us know what we can do to help get you there.
Which procedures do you need to practice?
Please involve the rest of the team – many of them are trained in ‘Making Every Contact Count’. They can give information from the patient information leaflet. Some are very experienced.
Now you have managed straightforward issues well, I’d like you to see the complex patients in clinic and we can discuss them together. That should help you develop your skills in Shared Decision Making. I’ll see the other patients with the rest of the team.
I’d like to recommend this organisation (e.g Medical Women’s Federation, Women in Surgery)… or this opportunity (e.g presentation)
What do you need to get to the next stage of your career?

Supervisors be aware:

· Set clear goals. If something goes wrong, give feedback on the task. Explain why things might need improvement.

· Both men and women can now request to train flexibly or part-time in any specialty for any well-founded individual reason

· Shared Parental Leave is at enhanced rates for resident doctors (so the father or second parent can look after their child).